Episode Six (6)

Eddie: Hiya guys. Welcome to Sim Gear. Jo?
Jo: Yes hello and welcome, and guess what.
Nathan: What?
Jo: It’s our last episode!
Eddie: Aw…!
Jo: Only for this series, though!
Eddie: Oh right. I suppose that’s not so bad, then.



Jo: But we’ll be back quite soon, really.
Eddie: Yes folks. We’ll be back on the 27th of November 2010, a day before, believe it or not – this series of Sim Gear would have started a year ago. So we thought it would be a good idea to show it then.
Nathan: We’re always prepared for more aren’t we?
Eddie: We don’t take breaks.
Jo: Certainly, so Eddie.
Eddie: Oh god the amount of times you’ve said that to me this series…
Jo: Haha. It can be the shows slogan.
Nathan: Don’t be stupid, Jo.
Jo: Well why not?



Nathan: Anyway, time to kick off our final episode. Later on, Eddie will be re-living the 1940’s in a spectacular classic car, don’t miss that by the way, but first Jo and I a few weeks ago couldn’t think of what cars to test. Then we came up with two spectacular cars we could put through their paces. The Landwhale Zenith 2.0 Calceus and the Emporali Luxsus. The Zenith is rather new and came out last year, however the Emporali Luxsus started being produced in 1986 and it still sells today. The cars have near enough the same performance as each other so the whole point of this test was to see if age can still beat beauty.



Nathan: The Landwhale Zenith. Top speed about 150 miles per hour. It’s got a 2.0 litre engine that will give an output of 237 brake horse power. I’m driving the Calceus version, which is the most luxurious version of the car.



Nathan: Just look at it. Isn’t it beautiful? Take a good long stare at it. This honestly is one of the best cars I’ve seen – ever. This is luxury – at its very best. Then – you realize who made the car. Landwhale did. I mean it’s not bad – they’ve made different cars that have been fast, slow, luxurious and dull. Thing is though, Yomoshoto was linked with Landwhale to make this car, which obviously added the thrills to drive this car.



Nathan: Inside it has a dashboard made of aluminum and you’ve got GPS and all that other modern crap. Not that it’s crap if it’s in the Landwhale Zenith, though. Anyway, I must be the first one to arrive as I don’t see Jo in the Luxsus.



Two hours later…

Jo: Oh no I’m not late am I? It’s quite dark now.



Nathan: Well there seems to be no sign of Jo. Oh hang on he’s here!



Nathan: Where the hell, have you been, Jo?
Jo: I’m so sorry. I got stuck on the motorway because some idiot in a Yomoshoto Ninja had crashed. On the fact of Yomoshoto, your Zenith was part-made by Yomoshoto. I bet when it comes to testing the cars you’ll crash the Zenith, won’t you? Like you did with the Smoogo Dalis?
Nathan: I won’t. Don’t worry I’m not going to wreck it.
Jo: I don’t believe you.
Nathan: Well believe me or not, I won’t crash it.
Jo: Fair enough then.



Nathan: What do you reckon we should do first then, seeming as there’s only about two hours till tomorrow…
Jo: Is that seriously how long I took? Why didn’t you get caught up in the traffic?
Nathan: I don’t take motorways. I never do. I always go with the back-roads. Saves time and possibly money.
Jo: No – the motorway is quicker.
Nathan: Not when you get Yomoshoto Ninja’s crashing here, there and everywhere though, hey?
Jo: Tell you what, let’s just drive our cars around the block for a bit, test them out and see which we prefer, then we’ll give them a race. Deal?
Nathan: Deal.
Jo: Let’s go then.



Jo: Let me introduce you to the Emporali Luxsus, then.



Jo: Top speed 143 miles per hour. Only seven less than the Zenith. It’s got just a little less power as you would expect, too. The ride is quite smooth. Obviously this is the oldest so this won’t be as smooth as that Zenith I would guess.



Nathan: Yes, it’s smooth. The Landwhale Zenith is so smooth you can fall asleep while driving, which is a good thing. Although then if I did fall asleep I would crash it and then Jo will be laughing at me because I said I wouldn’t crash it, so lets go off that subject of crashing – because I don’t want to. Plus it’s 10pm at night as well and it would be nearly my bedtime.



Jo: Gadgets are quite good for the Luxsus. It’s got plenty of electronically powered bits and bobs – not bad for a 1986 car. The 2009 Zenith has everything though. Too bad. The Luxsus’s age is really showing.



Jo: There’s a big difference, you can tell.



Jo: So it’s race time. We’ve tested the cars and found both cars good, but the Zenith does have the edge on the Luxsus. The only way of the Luxsus shining is by winning this race. And we’re just about to find out in 3…2…1…



Nathan: Yes the Zenith’s got the start.
Jo: The Luxsus is falling behind quite quickly.



Jo: Ah ha! I knew he’d crash it. I’m going to win this now! It’s the corner Nathan hates. The one he says – it’s not wide enough as he showed in the Smoogo 546 challenge a few episodes back.


Nathan: Aaah! I can’t bare look! But I have to look though! Oh my god! I’m through! I don’t believe it.



Nathan: Yeees!
Jo: That pretty much sums it up. The Zenith’s won. I was wrong.



Nathan: And this is the final corner and that’s it. I’ve won. What is best, age or beauty? Beauty certainly.
Jo: The Luxsus is a very good car. But not enough to beat that fine machine in front of me.



Nathan: What did I say? What did I say? I didn’t crash it! Haha!



Nathan: I did it. I did it!
Jo: Haha! Well done mate. Well done!
Nathan: That Zenith is one heck of a car.
Jo: I can just about see that. The Luxsus – a fantastic experience as well.
Nathan: Now here’s something you might not know – the Zenith is actually massive value for money as it’s cheaper than the Luxsus.
Jo: Yes, that’s right – believe it or not. The Luxsus is around a whole §1000 more than the Zenith – the Zenith is fantastic in every single way.
Nathan: Without a doubt, it’s the best car we’ve had on the show this series.
Jo: I wouldn’t say that. The Hunka 512 AWD was the best car in my opinion – which I drove in the first episode.
Nathan: Well the best car I’ve driven then – it has to be the Zenith.



Eddie: And that officially is the last you are going to see of Jo and Nathan this series now. That is it. As it is my part of the show now. You’re going to be pretty amazed by what you are going to see. But from Jo and Nathan it’s goodbye. Enjoy.



Eddie: Hello. I’ve came here to central Lystow today to teach you something about something rather special, in the Simlish automotive business. So what am I going to take you on a sight-seeing trip in Sondon with? No it’s not this Dover 444 taxi cab.



Eddie: Most certainly not the Landwhale Summit. Something much more special.



Eddie: And that special car is this – the Smoogo P.A. 8.



Eddie: If you don’t know why this is so special, then let me take you for a ride, heading towards a very special place.



Eddie: So, the Smoogo P.A. 8. The reason why I have chosen this car is because, well the simple reason being is that it is a Smoogo. People forget about this car.



Eddie: This was a small family car produced from 1947 to 1952. So this is a very old car, bare in mind. But the thing so special about this car was that it was the first car produced by Smoogo. And what are Smoogo – the most loved car brand in Alterra. So if it wasn’t for this, the Smoogo 720 you’d be driving today was for this car.



Eddie: This is the 1948 model, the sedan version of the car. This isn’t entirely the first ever car produced by Smoogo, the Smoogo Nova was, a prototype, that was shown at the 1945 TSA. So you should put more thought into the Nova, but don’t. Because, that car wasn’t sold. It was only a prototype. Then we got the P.A. 8. Back then people weren’t that excited about this car, and they still aren’t today. They should be.



Eddie: You’d ask someone in the street if they knew what a Smoogo P.A. 8 was, and they would say – what? You’d ask them if they knew what a Smoogo 720 is and they would say – oh definitely. They may say that their neighbor has one, or even they have one. And rightly so, I have one, but it’s my P.A. 8 that’s so special. This exact car I’m driving here is mine, as I like to show my cars off on this show, and this is my most loved car in my garage and it has its own parking space inside it.



Eddie: This car is absolutely astonishing. There’s nothing else to describe this car as. So let me tell you a bit about it. The top speed is just 65 miles per hour, so there is more or less a 0 – top speed acceleration time than a 0-60 time. The engine is a one cylinder – two stroke engine, which is amazing. The engine is so light I could get out the car now, open the bonnet and literally just lift that engine out myself. Even a child could do that. Or a dog. I’d like to see that happen. But it’s a car that lies deep in my heart. Something I’ll love and cherish for the rest of my life. The car is 63 years old now; it’s almost double my age.



Eddie: I should say that I am driving the second car sold by Smoogo actually, as it is the estate version from 1947 that was actually the first car. But I chose this car because it suits me more. I don’t like big estate cars. I love tiny cars – they’re just amazing. But this car, you could say will get you from A to B, yes. You always think there is something missing in this car, as it is so simple. It’s got an AM radio – that’s the only thing on the dashboard. Oh and a speedometer. And I’m currently doing 23 miles per hour. For crying out loud I’m stuck behind a Smoogo 546 Mk.3! But you see, these are the amount of Smoogo’s on the road today. All because of this car.



Eddie: That van in front of me wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for this little beast here. And that’s the whole point of this film. To make people believe this is more significant than the Smoogo 720 and any other car in the world. Obviously it won’t be, you’ll probably all get sick of me going on and on about this car, and you’ll probably turn the channel over. But don’t please. Because what you’re about to see next is something even more special.



Eddie: I’ve come to see a friend of mine, called Alfie. A friend I haven’t actually seen in ages. He runs a small museum held in the middle of Lystow, open for people to come in and view some of his Smoogo’s. Believe it or not, he owns almost every single Smoogo that the brand itself has sold. And he’s invited me to show me and you viewers around his museum.



Eddie: I’m a bit nervous about this… but!



Eddie: Hello! Wow what a place you have, Alfie.
Alfie: Well, thanks very much. It’s my pleasure to invite you here, and your viewers.
Eddie: I must say it’s fantastic. And people come in to view this museum?
Alfie: Yes, it’s loved by all ages.


Eddie: It’s not very big but it must be a joy to view this brilliant collection of cars you have here.



Alfie: Yes Eddie. I’m so proud of it, too. Why don’t you take seat?
Eddie: Ok I will.
Alfie: Make yourself at home on my luxury leather couches. Experience Smoogo heaven.
Eddie: Well I was experiencing it when I walked through the door, plus when I was driving my Smoogo P.A. 8 here today.



Alfie: Oh! So you have the P.A. 8 do you?
Eddie: Yes. That’s right.
Alfie: Well I haven’t had that car in my museum recently. May I ask you why you drove that fantastic vehicle here today?
Eddie: Oh well, I was explaining to our viewers of Sim Gear why it’s such a great car, not that anybody realized before.
Alfie: Well it’s definitely special, it’s the first car Smoogo sold. What do you have the sedan or estate?
Eddie: The 1948 sedan. Cracking little thing throwing it around these corners of Sondon.
Alfie: Haha well be careful – traffic is quite busy around here, but luckily not as busy as it is further downtown.
Eddie: Anyway, I’ve came here to talk to you today about your love of Smoogo’s and Smoogo itself.



Alfie: Oh well ok.
Eddie: What does the brand Smoogo mean to you, Alfie?
Alfie: A lot. Our family has grown up beside Smoogo itself. My grandfather Frank first worked for Smoogo at the age of 31 in 1949, just before my father was born and my grandfather earned enough money working there to buy his first car, the Smoogo P.A 25 when it came to about 1952. Then in 1968, when my father was 19, he started working for Smoogo, as now my grandfather had become so fond in Smoogo itself he had three different cars owned by him.
Eddie: Did your great grandfather work for Smoogo? As in making the weapons for the Simoviet Union to use in the Sapan war?
Alfie: No, and plus the weapons were just produced over there, not in Sondon.



Alfie: But anyway, then my father started investing in Smoogo’s. But that was in 1968, and in 1969 I was born. But as you would of expected, when I got to the age of 18 I would of started working at the Smoogo factory, in Sengland – but I didn’t. I became a business man. That’s how I got my money to purchase all my Smoogo’s. In 1996, when my grandfather died, he now had six Smoogo’s and he put in his will to give me and my father Billy each three cars. As I was more interested in older Smoogo’s at the time, I got his P.A 25, a P.A 8 and a P.A 34. My father got a 720, a 711 and an Istanbul. So it’s obviously carried on from my grandfather’s death I suppose.
Eddie: Wow! Very interesting story! Tell us a bit about your amazing museum then.



Alfie: Well in 1997, after my grandfather’s death, it was a tragic time for the whole of my family, and I decided to put them out of their misery by investing in this museum. Every now and again I place different cars in this museum, open for the public to view. The business has earned a lot of money from visits in the past. I have made over §50,000 in the past 13 years this museum has existed.
Eddie: Incredible! Would it be ok if you could explain to me about some of your cars?
Alfie: Definitely.



Alfie: We’ll start with the 720. And before you ask, no this isn’t my favourite Smoogo in the world.
Eddie: Oh that’s a shock.
Alfie: I’m with you Eddie that other Smoogo’s are more important than this. But no this is very iconic this model, that I bought in 1992 for just §350. I got it from a scrap yard and it was left in a real big mess. Therefore, I’ve restored it, gave it a shiny new yellow coat and replaced the engine with a lovely shining four stroke, four cylinder engines that will produce just over 105 brake horse power and a top speed of about 114 miles per hour.
Eddie: Very nice. But I would have thought you would have found a better two stroke engine that the original had in it?
Alfie: No I wanted a new chapter for this 720 to experience, therefore I fitted it with a bigger engine.
Eddie: Ok! Let’s move on…



Alfie: Next – the P.A. 25. This is the car I told you my grandfather inherited after his death. As it were my grandfathers, I didn’t do anything to it once I was given the keys to it. As my grandfather did though, was to wash it every Sunday, therefore that’s what I do. It was my grandfather’s most loved car before he died.
Eddie: And this was the first car he bought, yes? After the P.A. 8 was produced?
Alfie: That’s right.



Alfie: This is my most favourite car. The Smoogo 711 I bought. I got it for §1,220 in a classic car dealer when I was 32. As I bought it, I decided to put a shiny new V6 in it that produced nearly 204 brake horse power and I would expect it’s got a top speed of around 150 miles per hour.
Eddie: So again, you wanted to give it some more power, so this 711 could be up with the big and bad boys?
Alfie: Certainly.



Alfie: The Smoogo 546 Mk.2.
Eddie: Why the Mk.2?
Alfie: Well I have shown the Mk.1 and Mk.3 in here before, but I’ve only recently placed this van in here as it’s my most recent collectable item in my garage.
Eddie: Excellent. How much did it cost?
Alfie: If I remember rightly, around §3,500. It wasn’t a bad deal at all.
Eddie: That’s smashing that. Done any upgrades to it at all since you got it?
Alfie: No not yet. Only one minor upgrade.
Eddie: What was that?
Alfie: I replaced the stereo because with the other one I couldn’t get signal and it was rubbish.
Eddie: Oh ok. But aren’t you hoping to upgrade it in a larger shape or form?
Alfie: No. I want to keep this the way it is.



Eddie: And finally, we have the Smoogo Minima. Now tell us about this then.
Alfie: Well this is my favourite Smoogo of all time.
Eddie: What? You can’t be serious. It’s the worst.
Alfie: Not to me it isn’t!
Eddie: But it broke down every five minutes!
Alfie: That’s what’s so good about it. Because I’ve had some great times getting to work this car again when it’s broke down.
Eddie: So have you upgraded it?
Alfie: No.
Eddie: Well it looks in pretty good condition now. In fact – all of your cars are.
Alfie: I know, thanks.



Eddie: Anyway, it’s been the greatest pleasure I’ve had in a while visiting you Alfie, and I wish you the best of luck with this business in the future.
Alfie: It’s been a pleasure seeing you too Eddie, plus all your lovely viewers.
Eddie: Thank you very much and I’ll see you again.
Alfie: Goodbye.



Eddie: So the time has come, that’s it for a short while now. Sim Gear has finished Series 1. It’s been a long and hard, but very amusing journey, so we wish you a good few months before Sim Gear comes back to your screens, but otherwise, enjoy what’s left of your holidays. Goodbye.