Episode Five (5)

Eddie: Hello…
Jo: And…
Nathan: Welcome…
Eddie: To…
Jo: Sim…
Nathan: Gear!
Eddie: Yes you may have gathered what we were actually saying was Hello and welcome to Sim Gear. Well, hello and welcome to Sim Gear.
Jo: It was a great show last week, and what we have in store for you today is something a little more extreme.
Nathan: Yes that’s right. The Dover ‘New Marin’ is now on sale worldwide. We thought we’d give it a thorough test like we did with the Smoogo Dalis last week, to make you consider before you buy the new Marin.



Eddie: Here we are in the new Dover Marin. Now this is a cracking little car isn’t it, Jo?
Jo: Certainly so, Eddie.
Eddie: So certainly, we totally recommend it.
Jo: Oh yeah. We will explain throughout the show the ups and downs of this car. You’ll soon realize how much you will get for just §2,200.
Eddie: That’s right, Jo. You will be impressed, we’re sure. All you have to do is just simply listen to Jo and I and nobody else.
Jo: Now we’ve taken the Marin to Riberia like Nathan did last week…
Eddie: That’s quite right…
Jo: Oh…
Eddie: What Eddie?
Jo: And Nathan has come to Riberia again this week.
Eddie: You what?



Nathan: Oh no it’s Jo and Eddie.
Jo: Eddie, turn around.
Eddie: Ok.





Nathan: I thought I came here to re-test the Smoogo Dalis because my road test last week was supposedly awful, once again. Maybe that wasn’t Jo and Eddie. They were probably a gay couple or maybe two businessmen. Although they weren’t in business suits.



Nathan: Oh crap. It is them.
Eddie: You get out first, Jo.



Nathan: Morning Eddie.
Eddie: Hi.
Nathan: What brings you here in the middle of my re-test of the Smoogo Dalis, hey?
Eddie: Actually we were wondering why you were here when Jo and I were both told to test the new Dover Marin we have here, on the same road.
Nathan: Oh. What the hell are the producers playing at then?
Eddie: They must have made this happen on purpose!
Nathan: I see what they’re playing at! We probably need to see which is best out of the Marin and Dalis.
Eddie: Oh bugger.
Nathan: Well, let’s not waste any time!



Jo: Why have you brought us here, Nathan?
Nathan: Well, we haven’t been told anything, like what to do during this test, so I think they wanted us to think of our own way of proving which car is better.
Eddie: Well let’s start with the numbers then. Let’s compare Nathan.
Nathan: Alright. Well I was driving the Smoogo Dalis 4ST hatchback version which has a four cylinder, four stroke engine. Performance-wise, it can reach 101 miles per hour and has 75 brake horse powers. Eddie? The Marin?
Eddie: Right, the Marin has 80 brake horse powers and can reach 102 miles per hour. It has a 1.4 litre, four stroke and cylinder engine.
Jo: Ok so, the Marin will reach 1 mile per hour more than the Dalis, making it 1-0 to the Marin. Then we have power, 75 to 80. 2-0 to the Marin. Then, finally the engine. They both have four cylinder and four stroke engines. So no points awarded in that part of the round meaning the Marin is the best car at the moment.
Nathan: Right, so the Marin wins on performance.
Jo: Yes, Nathan.
Eddie: Shall we go on to size now?
Jo: Yes.



Eddie: It’s quite easy to tell that the Dalis is a much bigger car.
Jo: Why are we doing this? I mean – the Dalis suppose to be a midsize family car. The Marin is a supermini.
Eddie: No just think for a moment. If you look inside the Marin…



Eddie: You will realize that the Marin has tons of space, in the back.



Eddie: But not much space in the front. The boot is tiny. But the back is still large.



Eddie: The Dalis, however is quite tight in the back.



Eddie: But quite roomy in the front. The reason why the Dalis is much bigger is because; it’s got a massive boot. You see where I’m coming from now, Jo?



Jo: I kind of. But the Marin is still a different type of car.
Nathan: Sim Gear is a show which will find the better out of any two cars. Regarding its size and space. Last week, we raced a Smoogo 720 and a Hunka 711? The Hunka 711 is the fastest car you can buy, and the 720 is one of the slowest you can buy. That’s a whopping difference, isn’t it? But the Dalis still won that I would guess. Eddie?
Eddie: Yes, it looks as if the Dalis has got that round, just. But the Marin is not far behind it.
Jo: Ok. I get it. Let’s just get on with it. Last week, Nathan you crashed the Dalis into the pond. Let’s see if the Marin will do that. As it’s currently 1 all knowing that the Marin won the performance round and that the Dalis won the size and space round, which car will shine once more?
Nathan: Ok.



Jo: Be careful!
Eddie: Try your best to brake!
Nathan: I’ll try.



Jo: If he crashes this, we will be unhappy.
Eddie: Do you think this was a good idea?
Jo: No. The Marin’s a smashing car. Don’t let him wreck it.
Eddie: He’s setting off now.
Jo: Stop him!



Nathan: Ok. Here we go. I have now braked.



Nathan: Bugger.



Jo: Eddie! Did you just hear that?
Eddie: Oh no. He’s blown it.
Jo: Come on let’s go.



Eddie: Oh great. Well done Nathan you deserve a medal!



Jo: Oh god no!
Eddie: Go get the Dalis, Jo. We need to pull him out.



Eddie: Slowly! Be careful, Jo!
Jo: Sorry!
Nathan: This car has useless brakes as well as the Dalis.
Eddie: Keep going. We’re nearly out.



Nathan: There. The Marin is rubbish as well as the Dalis.
Jo: No. I’ve got an idea. Why don’t Eddie and I each drive either the Dalis or the Marin and brake before that pond. To prove that you didn’t do that on purpose, Nathan.
Nathan: Fair enough.



Jo: I’ll take the Marin. Eddie, you take the Dalis.
Eddie: Ok.



Jo: Wish you luck, Eddie. Hope you don’t die. It’s been a great time knowing you by the way.
Eddie: Do you honestly believe that the Dalis is that bad, that I will crash it into the pond and die?
Jo: You might do.



Jo: Ok. Here we go. I am braking. Oh god no! Stop! No!



Jo: Ha! Fooled you! Nathan you are an idiot. There was no way I’d let the Marin suffer again. Let’s see what Eddie does.



Eddie: Here we go.



Eddie: Oh crap – I am going to die. Noooo!



Eddie: Hang on – I’m not dead. Woohoo! Now get me the hell out of this thing.



Nathan: Yes! I knew I was right. The Dalis has poor brakes! I have proved!



Nathan: Oh that’s deep!
Eddie: Help! Get me out!
Nathan: Hang on! Jo get him out.



Nathan: Right. As you can see – Eddie is now out.
Jo: Thank god.
Nathan: Now, for the final round – we are going to have a race. We’ve asked for the road to be closed so we can get down to some thrilling action with these two cars in a head-to-head battle.
Jo: What?
Nathan: I wouldn’t get out the cars if I were you.
Eddie: That’s just not on.
Nathan: It is. Get in.
Eddie: Whatever.
Nathan: Hurry!
Jo: We’re trying. Ok!
Nathan: Ready?
Eddie: Yes.



Nathan: 3, 2, 1… Go!



Nathan: And they are away! And ooh! Already the Marin is off to a flying start. Look at Jo go!



Nathan: Eddie is just behind him now. Jo got the start, but that’s about it for now. But here’s a long stretch anyway. A chance for an overtake for Eddie.



Nathan: He’s actually catching up.



Nathan: Oh what a blast around that corner there for Jo to save his lead. Here’s the finish!



Nathan: What a win for Jo and the Marin!



Jo: So then, Eddie, what’s the best car out of the two?
Eddie: Well definitely the Dover New Marin. It’s not quite as spacious as the Dalis, but it has better brakes and it is quicker.
Jo: I couldn’t agree more that this is the best car.
Eddie: Nope. The Dalis is quite bad then, as we have proved.



Jo: So, as we have proved, the Marin is the better car. Now we’re off to move the Dalis somewhere else now as we’re all off home in the Marin. Come on Nathan! Hurry up!
Nathan: Alright!
Jo: From all of us in Riberia, goodbye. We’ll see you next week.



Jo: Hurry up Nathan! We haven’t got all day!
Nathan: Hang on! I can only walk as quickly as I’m walking.



Nathan: Can I just ask where is the Dalis?