Alytna Large (2014), dir. Luke Enfield; II: more bad writing but A E S T H E T I C A L L Y SUPERIOR edition

Rufus: Not Michael. My lover. Her name is Rebecca Malone.
Jan: That's terribly unfortunate, Rufus.
Rufus: Yes, it is. I was wondering if there was anything you could do?
Jan: You want me to find her a good lawyer?
Rufus: Precisely. But make sure it is a good lawyer - I want to give her every fighting chance. Hell, anyone would beat the lawyer I had though...
Jan: I'll see what I can do. But as you may have imagined, this line of work requires a balance. Said balance plays an integral role in keeping Jan happy. Jan will fulfil your request. He will always confirm that. But you must always do something in exchange.
Rufus: For sure. Whatever it takes.



Jan: I'm a kind soul, you see Rufus? I will let go of those that have done me proud. But if I feel there's still something lacking, I'll force another exchange on them.
Rufus: I understand.
Jan: Good. Michael here deserves one last swan song. For you, however, this could be the first of many.
Rufus: Okay, I'm reading you.
Jan: I'm not talking about the task I'm about to assign you to. I'm talking about a heist, Rufus.
Rufus: Sure, I love heists.
Jan: Ah-ah-ah! I'm talking about the biggest heist of your career thus far.
Rufus: Are you?
Jan: I'm pretty sure I am. You did everything with Michael, and you intend to keep it that way. I'm talking about §5 million in gold bullion.
Rufus: You are?
Jan: I am. Now tell me, smart guy - will that give you everything you have ever hoped and dreamed for?
Rufus: Yes. More or less.
Jan: Good.



Jan: Make me proud - and it will be yours.
Rufus: Where did Michael go?
Jan: Doesn't matter. What matters is that fucking ape being here...





Jan: MICHAEL!



Michael: Jan, I'm sorry. Am I needed?
Jan: Of course you are. What are you thinking!? Do you think I just like shouting your name for the pleasure, huh!? Nah, I shouldn't have said that. This previous whore of mine always wailed the name of some fucking guy during intercourse, some André...
Michael: Clearly André possessed something that you did not. You fucked the wrong girl.
Jan: Alright! So we were both desperate!



Jan: Michael! Rufus! My boys! Look out there. What do you see?
Michael: ...
Rufus: ...
Michael: A fucking big city.
Jan: CORRECT! Brentstone! The stjärna of the Marvegan east! A land of opportunity in every street. This place is high art. This man that we want is actually in the arts - the movies. Adam McNamara. He owes me a lot of money. I'm one of the few guys in this city who can give you a seven-figure loan. The dilemma however is that our friend Adam has failed to pay seven figures back. Today is Thursday, it's early afternoon. He'll be hanging out in the back of a star's caravan in Hallapeta. Do not ask me how I know.
Rufus: Are we to find the rest of the payment?
Jan: No. Just eliminate him. Fortunately, I have moved almost five hundred kilos in the past month, money really isn't an issue currently. Of course, it's a bonus if you can salvage something.



Jan: For the sake of undisputed companionship and feedback for me to assess, I am going to send Michael with you Rufus.
Rufus: Sure.
Jan: Go away and make it happen. Luck? I'm sure you won't need it.





Rufus: Well, well, well Mikey-boy... he seemed interesting.
Michael: Right you are, he's a real character.



Rufus: Y'know, I couldn't help but feel your glare on me throughout my conversation with Jan. Well, at least for all the time you were there. Part of me thinks you found it too much to bear.
Michael: I would say I've heard something more stupid than that before but trust me Rufus - I haven't. Where would you be if we swapped roles, huh? I'm very dependable, Rufus. With me in the can and you relying on that phony money launderer for the rest of your life, man... you would've been fucked.



Rufus: Shut. The. Fuck. UP!
Michael: That's it isn't it? It's of excruciating pain for you to admit - Frankie was useless and my method of slipper-wearing and owning shit wheels was beneficial after all.  
Rufus: You really are some creature. Let's not keep Jan waiting. I evidently respect that guy a lot more than you ever have.
Michael: Oh we'll see about that one, you fuck.







Rufus: It's there.
Michael: Yeah, I'm not fucking blind.
Rufus: I'm not going to even respond to this illogicality.
Michael: What's with the polysyllabic words, Rufus? Did you read books in the can?
Rufus: As a matter of fact, I did. It was enough to keep me entertained. I learnt a lot while I was locked away.









Michael: Wow! These guys look cosy. Now what I'm about to ask would usually be a no-brainer, but this is Brentstone Rufus, so never say never.
Rufus: I fucking know, M. Me and you both are Brenstoners.
Michael: Which one of you is Adam? Mr Adam McNamara?



Rufus: I guess that question is answered, then.



Michael: McNamara, come with us. There's a few things we need to clear up.
Adam: Wh... what the hell is this guys? You know me guys? I'm Adam freakin' McNamara. I own the show. You cannot threaten me, fellas!
Rufus: Save the gospels for later.



Adam: I can't imagine what you two chumps could want from me! We've never crossed paths before! I'll never dare cross paths with guys with beards. It went out of fashion here like... three weeks ago?
Rufus: Yeah well I guess they're in fashion again.



Actress: We gotta' problem. Jus' get us out of 'ere and 'al try my best to explain why.



Adam: You're not wanted around here!





Michael: I don't believe it! The caravan's fucking moving!



Adam: Oh well those girls know a trick or two...





Rufus: Mike, you okay!?



Michael: Yeah, sure!
Adam: You boys threw your ball into the WRONG PARK!





Michael: What's he doin'?
Rufus: No idea...



Adam: It's not a party without alcohol, wouldn't you agree?



Michael: RUFUS! Don't let him do it, Rufus!







Adam: Aw, FUCK!



Michael: Don't shoot your load in places where it ain't wanted!





Adam: You guys have gotta' nerve!





Adam: Stop walking around like you shit ya' sen, old-timer. Are the G-forces taking their toll on your brittle bones!?



Michael: THIS old-timer lives every second of his life on the edge! AGH!





Adam: That's it - you've crossed the line in the sand you wretched old bastard. You're dead!



Adam: I'll see you guys later!



Rufus: Talkin' to my uncle like that, McNamara... it's not going to exactly make us all the best of friends now, is it?



Adam: You're just the same. You can all bask in my magnificent glory, because you'll never be able to dream of what I've managed to achieve.



(Gunshot)



Adam: AH...! AGH...! GRR...!



Michael: Mr Bakker sends his regards.



Adam: Agh!







Michael: (Panting) Oh... Rufus... you... you'd better stop the car.











Rufus: Agh! Ah...







Driver: Fuck my life.





Rufus: Shit.









Rufus: Michael, c'mon man...
Michael: Agh! Oh man, that was intense.



Michael: Y'know, I'm gettin' too old for this nonsense.
Rufus: If you think this is your plea to get me to empathise with you, then kill it now. I'm not interested. There's a whole lot of juice left in that tank, Kinsley.
Michael: Ya' fucking sure?
Rufus: Without a doubt.
Michael: I'm hurt.
Rufus: C'mon. Walk. We've gotta' get outta' here.



Michael: I think I've broke my ankle.
Rufus: (Sighs) Let's get you to a hospital.
Michael: I tripped over the sidewalk, right?
Rufus: Sounds like you, yeah. That's something a guy of your intellect would manage.
Michael: Yeah, enough of the fucking jokes, Rufus. Get me a damn doctor, then you're going to have to take on Jan yourself.
Rufus: I'm sure that'll be no obstacle too large. Neither will the sidewalk.







(Doorbell rings)

Jan: Oh! Oh Hugh, will you get that for me please darling?



Jan: H... Hugh? Just before you do... just, just... hold on.



Jan: Don't... (sniffs) ... send them through yet... just... hold on!



Jan: Okay, send them through!



Jan: Rufus! Hi, hi! How are you? Good evening.
Rufus: Good evening to you too.
Jan: Did you... did you do that thing I asked?
Rufus: Sure. Why are you trying to be so secretive?
Jan: Because... because Hugh's here, y'know?
Rufus: I'm pretty sure Hugh was in the room at the time.
Jan: Yeah, well fuck Hugh.



Rufus: What's with all the embracin'?
Jan: You're a sexy bastard too, Rufus. That played a role in me deciding to hire you, my good friend.
Rufus: I'm... I really appreciate it, Jan.



Jan: I'll show you to the kitchen, we can have a drink to celebrate right? You want champagne? I've got champagne. We'll have champagne. Champagne? Champagne.
Rufus: Sure.



Jan: So was our little problem solved to a satisfactory standard?
Rufus: I'd say more than. You won't be hearing anything of him again.
Jan: I'm pleased to hear that. You've done me proud. Was Michael of any help?
Rufus: It's too late, I'm too tired to provide evidence as to why he was okay but, yeah... he was okay.
Jan: Good. So long as I have two men fit and prepared to partake in one of the most audacious heists this city has ever seen.
Rufus: Absolutely. I'm sure Michael won't disappoint. I know I won't.
Jan: Ha! I'll remember those words. Good man. Good men.



Rufus: Hmm... what's the mess on the floor?



Jan: Oh erm... Hugh baked his grandmother a cake earlier... bless his cute little soul. He made a little mess with the flour. Y'know, kids hey?



Rufus: Yeah, Michael would tell you the same when I was younger.
Jan: I'm sure he would. You were an immature, uncontrollable little shit, right?
Rufus: Ha, that's one way of looking at it.
Jan: Oh, I'll have you know that I'm a very perceptive guy. Very perceptive indeed.
Rufus: You come across to me as a very intuitive man.
Jan: I am. You are too. I see a lot of me in you, you know?
Rufus: Interesting.



Jan: It's kind of uncanny, don't you think? I think it is.



Rufus: Absolutely. Maybe we were made to be.



Jan: That's a very believeable assumption to make, Yeoman.



Rufus: Possibly. Time will tell. Time will tell whether we really, really were meant to be...



Jan: Where's Michael?
Rufus: Hospital. McNamara fucked him up a little bit. Well, not him... but the circumstances in which we were in. It's quite hard to explain.



Jan: Ah, fuckin' Michael. So unreliable.



Rufus: Yep. Anyway, goodnight.



Jan: Goodnight to you too, boy. Hugh - show Mr. Yeoman the way out.















Rebecca: So you finally realised it may be a good idea to come and see me?



Rufus: Rebecca...
Rebecca: Rufus. Sit down.





Rebecca: What do you have to say for yourself?



Rufus: I'm... sorry? I suppose that would be a good start.
Rebecca: Explain to me why they didn't just drop this case once they put you away six years ago. Why did they wait until you had served your sentence before they arranged a trial for me?
Rufus: I don't know, Rebecca. I honestly can't figure this out for the life of me...
Rebecca: Some relationship you turned out to be.
Rufus: Then why did you hang on for six years?
Rebecca: Why? Because I thought I loved you.
Rufus: You... you don't anymore?
Rebecca: I don't think so.
Rufus: I... I understand. In fact, I expected you to move on in life years ago. Why didn't you leave Brentstone though? Why didn't you get away from it all?
Rebecca: I still have family here, Rufus. I've got to look after Coco. My father has only got six weeks left to live. I'm in heaps of debt. I can't run away from it all - then I'd be seen as weak.
Rufus: I'm sorry Rebecca... I'm sorry about your dad. Y'know, look - I'm sorry about everything.
Rebecca: 'Sorry' is a word that has completely lost it's effect now. Don't use it.



Rebecca: You dragged me into this. You may have served six years in jail too, but in my eyes, that's not proportionate. You've got to serve more or else me and you? We'll never be on equal terms. You murder people and you screw up this country's economy - you deserve a life sentence you little shit. I deserve years in the slammer for being so stupid to launder your prestigious 'hard-earned' cash to start with. We'll be dead before we're ever equal.



Rufus: But I can get you outta' this, Rebecca. I might get you a good lawyer. We can put it all behind us.
Rebecca: I have nothing but contempt for you. Nothing but contempt for myself. I can't go on innocent in the eyes of the citizens.
Rufus: Then how did you manage for six years? You've got a half-sister to take care of. You've got a father to take care of. Plus - you've got a debt to clear. I'll try my utmost in order to make that debt vanish, Rebecca. I promise.
Rebecca: I'll find this very hard, Rufus. I never said impossible though, you see? So long as you admit you're a treacherous, lying, pathetic piece of utter fucking worthlessness, then I'll never look into your eyes again. But if you're gonna' say that, then make sure you are looking into my eyes.



Rufus: I will. I am. Because that is the truth. I respect you, Rebecca. And you know what? Despite all those years of us apart, I still love you.
Rebecca: Say it.
Rufus: Hmm... okay. I...
Rebecca: You are a treacherous, lying, pathetic piece of utter fucking worthlessness.
Rufus: I am a treacherous, lying, pathetic piece of utter fucking worthlessness.
Rebecca: ... okay.
Rufus: I'll be back before the trial, Rebecca. I'm gonna' get you through this. Watch.



Rebecca: I never saw your eyes when you said that after all with your sunglasses on, Rufus. It looks like the answer to that will be determined when you do get me that lawyer... or not.



Rufus: Goodnight, Rebecca. It was nice to see you.







Coco: I just want you to be considerate, that's all. Don't step out of line. The best way to persuade the law is to abide by it. Don't get your hands wrapped around the prosecution counselor, please.
Rufus: I'll try my best.
Coco: Do it for me, at least?
Rufus: I'm doing it for you. But more importantly - I'm doing it for Rebecca. Ah, I can't stand this. I'm so nervous.
Coco: Calm down.
Rufus: I can't be a witness, not when I played a role in this whole case.
Coco: Look - Rebecca did a loving thing... well, kind of. She invested your money into business around town to provide an explanation for your criminal money.
Rufus: Exactly. CRIMINAL money. She's a CRIMINAL.
Coco: But look at where those businesses are now.



Rufus: To hell with the business. Those guys don't care about whether we've put into this wretched economy, in order to put in what we have done, we had to take money out of it through drugs trafficking, selling counterfeit goods and robbing things. Rebecca played a pivotal role in this, she's going down.
Coco: Think about her lawyer.
Rufus: I am. Man, you know, I could imagine her perhaps killing Frankie though. His death exposed my activities.
Coco: Yet it also exposed hers?
Rufus: Yeah, well what if she set me up? No one gave any thought for her for six years while I was locked away. She had plenty of time to get away from this all.
Coco: But me, Rufus? My father?
Rufus: Yeah well I'm sure they weren't an issue six years ago.
Coco: She's always had to look out for me.



Rufus: I know. I'm sorry. The odds are stacked against us, Coco.
Coco: You're in the clear now, Rufus. Let her deal with the consequences. Just don't make the same mistakes again.
Rufus: I still love her, though.



Coco: So you'll find someone else.
Rufus: If you say so.
Coco: Mark my words. It'll all work out, I promise.



Rufus: Thanks. For supporting me.
Coco: It's no problem.
Rufus: ...
Coco: ...
Rufus: Well... (chuckles)
Coco: Aha, Michael's certainly been a very busy boy to buy you a place like this, hey? Well, someone clearly has, anyway...



Rufus: Hey look, forget the house. I'm going to go, the last thing I want to be is late. I can't afford to miss this.
Coco: Sure. But one more thing...



Coco: Rufus, wait!



Rufus: I can't afford to talk to you anymore. Look, please. Let me go.





Coco: I just wanted to let you know that, I'm also grateful for the effort you're making too, for me, Rufus.
Rufus: Alright. I... I love... I love it. I love seeing you... you brighten my days.



Rufus: As for my days? Well, my days are pretty dark, in case you hadn't noticed.













Rufus: Shit, let's do this.









Bailiff: Yeoman? Rufus Yeoman?
Rufus: You've been expecting me, right?



Bailiff: That's right. But, we were also expecting the jury to make an appearance today. Do you happen to know where they may be at?
Rufus: I don't have a clue. That... that outrages me. I mean, how are we going to determine whether Rebecca is guilty or not?
Bailiff: Precisely. They're a fundamental part of any criminal court case.



Rufus: Well I suppose that's all, right m'lady? I suppose we could postpone, or come to some sort of arrangement of that kind...



Judge: Mr Yeoman, would you please take a seat and refrain from interrupting the court proceedings.



Rufus: Yeah, cool. But m'lady, there aren't really any court 'proceedings' going on currently.
Bailiff: Please take a seat sir, or expect to be taken from the premises.
Rufus: Alright, fine!



Sanchez: Excuse me, m'lady. I don't think this man should be excused to take a seat in this court room!
Judge: Mr Sanchez, please remain seated...
Sanchez: Forgive me, m'lady, but I think this man has some explaining to do. He can begin by elaborating on his understanding of the jury's whereabouts.



Sanchez: Perhaps Mr Yeoman here excused the jury, maybe paid them off and told them to not bother with fulfilling their role as a citizen of Goldshores.



Rufus: Y'know what? I'm not gonna' be treated like this. I don't claim responsibility for whatever the matter may be with the jury. You're wasting my partner's time. C'mon Rebecca, we're going.
Rebecca: Rufus, sit down!
Rufus: C'mon! We're going! You don't need this!
Bailiff: Mr Yeoman, we'd like to ask you to leave.
Rufus: Well 'liking' for me to leave just ain't gonna' cut it. You've even said it there yourself, it's not imperative. I'll stay here for the time being, it's where I belong.



Bailiff: We won't tolerate this in the court room, Yeoman. Get outta' here before I do something I may regret.
Rufus: Hey dude, you obviously loathe me, I struggle to believe you'll regret anything...



Sanchez: Don't lose sleep over his threats, Yeoman. Lose sleep over mine - because my threats will probably keep me in deep regret. Not to mention yours for setting the ball rolling to start with.



Rufus: You see, that's typical of you, Mr Prosecutor. Inevitably, whatever 'proceedings' go on in here today, they're a foregone conclusion. What ever happened to the theory of 'innocent until proven guilty'?
Sanchez: Miss Malone laundered your criminal money into the investment of various businesses throughout Brentstone. The proceedings that shall take place today will be a measure of how long a sentence she serves.
Rufus: She was jus' doing a loving thing. You'd do the same.
Sanchez: I disagree. I would leave my wife if I knew she was robbing banks.
Rufus: Dude, she'd be a pretty cool wife if she did that. It would leave you prosperous. You'd be so grateful for it considering how fucked up the current system is.



Sanchez: Refrain from profanity in front of m'lady at once!
Rufus: Is that your epic wife who takes scores or the bitch who is gonna' send my lover away? Which 'lady', hmm?
Sanchez: The lady who comes from an astonishing bracket of people who'll also make your life a misery - again.



Rufus: There's still a chance to make this right, y'know? Leave me be and we'll continue. It's simple stuff, isn't it?
Sanchez: Ah! Not when we lack a jury.
Rufus: You seriously think I'd send them packing and walk in here oblivious? Alright, I'll admit it - prior to my sentence I lacked intellect. However, six years later, I'm no longer that man. My knowledge is enough to inform me on the fact that Rebecca is being robbed!



Defense: Despite the honourable gentleman Sanchez's best intentions, you are in a court room and acting in a disorderly manner.



Rufus: I... (sighs)



Rebecca: Look Rufus - just go. You can't handle this. I understand how you feel. Just leave it to the people who know best.
Rufus: They don't know best, Rebecca. They don't know best.



Rebecca: We... we'll see. But please Rufus, if you really care for me, then you'll do this for me. Go.



Sanchez: Don't just stand there! You're wasting our time!
Rufus: I'm going... but there's just one last thing I've gotta' do...