Episode Two (2)

Jo: Hey there! Today is a special episode indeed! Why, you may be wondering, are there three red Smoogo 711’s behind me? Well earlier last year, we receive a letter from the members of the S.D.O.C – the Smoogo Dalis Owners Club. As we’re known for destroying Dalises, the SDOC decided to step in and stop us – they said that the only way to settle this was by war. So we agreed, if they win we will never, ever trash a Smoogo Dalis ever again. If we win, we’ll just still carry on trashing them.



Eddie: But I think we can say that, to be perfectly honest, we don’t do it on purpose, only Nathan did when he blew one up testing it in Riberia last year.



Arthur: But let’s be honest, Nathan was a complete and utter idiot.



Jo: That’s right – and that’s why we’ve chosen the 711 to fight the war, we also have the sedan and wagon version to defeat the SDOC.
Eddie: Obviously we could pick any car we liked as long as it had similar specifications to the Dalis, it’s slightly more powerful. So, the SDOC have also picked a car.



Maisie: Obviously, we’ve picked the Smoogo Dalis. My name is Maisie and I’ve came here to represent the SDOC in this war!



Alexander: She’s also joined by me, Alexander. I am the team leader and indeed the founder of the SDOC, as I am in truth a Simoviet.



Gerard: Hello! I’m Gerard from East Sarbodia; I come with peace, and Smoogo Dalis!



Jo: Arthur, how about you become our team leader?
Arthur: Well, I actually have something to say.
Jo: What?
Arthur: I think the Smoogo Dalis is a good car.
Jo: Sorry?
Arthur: It is! I tested it during the 2009 TSA!
Jo: Arthur, this is Sim Gear, not the Simlish bloody Autoshow. You’re aloud to criticize cars!
Arthur: I didn’t hate it, it’s actually a good car, and I don’t lie on TSA. It’s roomy; the brakes aren’t really that bad. I can’t do it. I’m not fighting against an owners club of a car that is actually rather good.



Jo: Oh come on Arthur? You don’t have to destroy a Dalis; you only have to take part in order for us to win!
Arthur: Sorry, I’m not.



Jo: Fine! Suit yourself then! You’ve been nothing but a misery since you joined Sim Gear! You’ve wrecked our studio and now you won’t even fight for us!
Arthur: I’ve only been here a week! I can’t and will not get into things like this so suddenly… maybe next time…
Jo: Go sit at the side of the track and watch in shame, Arthur.



Arthur: If you insist…



Arthur: I’ll just sit and slump here. No way am I trashing cars. I only came in the way I did last week because I was told to make an explosive entry into Sim Gear, so I decided to smash a Smoogo 546 into the studio, simples.



Jo: So Arthur is now out leaving us two people to defeat three. It’s going to be hard now. But let’s progress onto our first duel… a lap around the track! Let’s race!



Alexander: Let’s go kick some Denevian ass!
Gerard: Damn this stupid little country, may we be victors!
Maisie: For Dalis, for country, and behond!



Eddie: As you can see, because we’ve lost someone, it’s only fair we start at the front, to make it equal again. The SDOC are pretty easy to convince and persuade, they want a fair match so that’s why we’re starting at the front. I’m starting to like those guys. Anyway, the bottom two finishers are eliminated.



Jo: Away we go!
Alexander: Haha! Stupid Denevian made a mistake!
Eddie: Bugger! I missed a gear!
Alexander: Aaaaargh second! Come on!
Maisie: Haha!



Eddie: No! No we’re losing them!
Jo: Great! That’s us screwed!
Alexander: Haha! I should point out that they are Smoogo’s too! But we like Dalis!
Gerard: Paha! No chance for Denevian… chance for East Sarbodia!



Eddie: Yes! I’m coming up the inside!
Maisie: The lead is mine! Oh no! A Sim Gear folk!
Alexander: Move Maisie! Move, move!



Maisie: No that surely isn’t aloud!
Eddie: That’s how you win a war! Attack the opposition!
Jo: Nice one, Eddie!



Maisie: I am so gutted… stupid Denevian!



Jo: Yes! We’re both through! That’s first and third!
Alexander: Second! But we are losing now! Little b*stards!
Gerard: Stupid tiny country has reigned over East Sarbodia! No! No!
Eddie: Haha!



Eddie: And now – Gerard and Maisie… you are now out and must blow your cars to smithereens!
Gerard: No! You stupid little country can’t tell us to do that!
Jo: We can! You haven’t won the war yet so ha! We can still destroy Dalises!
Maisie: No! You cannot! These are our cars… owned by the Smoogo Dalis Owners Club, we can’t blow them up!
Gerard: We cannot, no!
Eddie: Bugger it, I’ll do it!
Gerard: No you mustn’t you long-haired Denevian short bastar…



Eddie: Let’s move on!
Maisie: Oh no!
Gerard: You stupid little…!
Jo: Go sit down, bye now!



Gerard: You stupid little Denevian destroyed our…
Arthur: Calm down my friend, I am sorry of your loss…
Maisie: You work with these imbeciles?
Arthur: I… I… no. I don’t, I’m just erm… the shows fashion designer…
Gerard: No… this Arthur Nedmonds!
Maisie: Who?
Gerard: Presenter of TSA!
Arthur: Actually, I just look like him – erm… I’m his identical twin brother – Henry Nedmonds.
Gerard: Sure?
Arthur: No.
Gerard: Huh?
Arthur: I adore Smoogo Dalises however!



Maisie: You do?
Arthur: Yeah! It has plenty of room!
Gerard: Much more than the stupid little 711!
Arthur: Indeed!
Gerard: Do you want to join SDOC?
Arthur: Erm… I have other plans at the moment…
Maisie: I’m sure you do!
Arthur: Um…



Jo: As you can see, now we’re playing a game of cat and mouse to settle this.
Eddie: We’ve got to win this war any way we can!
Alexander: Ah! Denevian!



Eddie: I’m going to take him! I’m making my move!
Alexander: Denevian not so smart…



Eddie: No! He’s pushed me into the wall! Crap!
Alexander: Haha! So long!
Jo: That bloody Simoviet has such a big head his Dalis would explode without us being part of it…



Eddie: No! Don’t you dare! Arrgh! Help! It’s rolling out of control!
Jo: Bloody hell! Eddie’s rolling that car over the wall!



Eddie: Help! It’s uncontrollable! It’s going to roll!



Eddie: No!



Eddie: This is going to end nasty!



Alexander: Stupid Denevian Dover Marin take that!



Jo: Oh no! The little bugger! He’s hit my Marin! Let’s step this up a notch!



Jo: Into the studio! Oh bugger! I’ve hit the Meriteer! No don’t hit me!
Alexander: Let’s end this once and for all!



Jo: Yes! Woo! I’ve done it! I made it through! We’ve won surely! Now I’ve got to get out of the wreckage!



Jo: Aha! The dressing area! Not a problem!



Jo: Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!



Jo: Now to tell Arthur the great news!



Gerard: Great! I guess we’ve lost!



Jo: Sorry… you lost. Your leader is dead…
Maisie: What?
Gerard: What you stupid Senglish done?
Arthur: What’s going on, Jo?
Jo: The studio’s on fire.
Arthur: What!? You’re joking, right?
Jo: No!
Gerard: We must save Alexander!



Jo: My Marin is a wreck however! The bloody bugger trashed it!



Jo: Alexander is probably dead by now…



Jo: It does mean we’ve just about ran out of time now, but like you’ve seen… we clearly won that, we don’t purposely trash Dalises anyway but now we’ve won that war I guess we can as much as we want… providing Arthur isn’t there. We’ll see you next week; we’re going to just call an ambulance and the fire services… goodbye.



Eddie: Haha! That cloud looks like Arthur! He’s driving a Smoogo 546! He’s crashed into a cloud! Haha!