Episode 4: Crossdressing & Subtitles

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[size=200]Evil Born Evil[/size]
Series: 01
Episode: 04
This is a remake of an episode aired previously. This episode originally aired on August 1st, 2011.
Written by: Luke Enfield
Produced by: Crimson Media
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[warning]AGE RATING: 15+
CONTAINS: STRONG LANGUAGE, STRONG VIOLENCE, BLOOD.[/warning]
Previously on Evil Born Evil...



Jasper: We know there's more of them, Redford. But we can't go to them, they'll have to come to us. We need a bait.



Rod: Well bugger me, as if it isn't pansie-prick D.C.I Vincent Hopkins with his gay wheels and his even more gay tache!
Vincent: Pleased to see you again too, Barker. How are things?
Rod: They were alright until you turned up! What do you want!?
Vincent: Just thought I'd pop by and check on you.
Rod: Really?
Vincent: Oh no. There's more to it than that.



Vincent: What's this about, Lyons?
Jasper: So, are you set?
Vincent: Too right, I'm set.
Jasper: Good. Then we can plan our next move.
Vincent: What!?
Jasper: Hey, keep your voice down Vince. It's not that big of a deal.
Vincent: What is? In fact, what is this?
Jasper: Haven't you gathered? We're going our way about the operation how we like. Whatever Barker does is irrelevant. I'm sick of him fucking this all up like he has already.
Vincent: I don't understand. Rod is the boss of this place.
Jasper: Yeah, well not for much longer.

[INSERT OPENING CREDITS HERE]





Radio (Sam): And that was Kirsty Reiner's recent number, the chart-topping 'Insanity'. It's been at the number one spot since August, Alex.



Radio (Alex): Right you are, Sam. And you know, I'm not bored of the track in the slightest.
Radio (Sam): Well, I wouldn't even consider that. I'm no way in hell bored of it my love.
Radio (Alex): Oh, is it my love now? Come on, you cheeky sod. It's only three in the afternoon. Wait for watershed, silly!
Radio (Sam): And is that how it is now? Watershed?



Marcus: Damned '80s crap. Why don't you let the music do the talking? Take me back to the year 2011 and the planet Alterra, whoever is out there...



Radio (Sam): Alex? Did you hear that? Our listener from Cramham, Mr Redford has requested we stop babbling on and get some music on!
Radio (Alex): You know what, Sam? That's a good idea. This is The Ant Trance's new single - 'Watershed'.
Radio (Sam): Wicked choice!



Marcus: Eh, what on Alterra!?
Radio: When the sun goes down and I'm in my bed, I'm watching telly after watershed. I see you face and in your eyes, I know the darkness is a surprise. The children are asleep, and I ain't going to peep... over the covers! You're giving head, baby, oh don't stop! Don't stop... it's after WATERSSHHHEEEED!



Marcus: Now... this explains it. Well Marcus, just another of those pathetic encounters to endure.



Radio: Something is coming, and I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm about to flood the room... with maaaaaaaahhhh liquids! I know you're up to something... I DON'T WANNA KNOW! But this feels so good that you I don't wanna throw-woah-OOOOOHHH! You- after WATEERRSSSSHEEEED!



Radio: After WATERSHEEEEEE... (Radio smashes)
Marcus: FUCK! This is real!



Marcus: SHIT! HELP! I'M GOING TO DIE, FOR REAL! I'M FUCKING GOING UNDER!





Marcus: Is there anybody there!?



Poor man. He must not like his experience very much. This coma is just a whirlwind of disaster for Marcus, nothing is granted, and nothing is ever a joy.



Maybe he should have gone to bed before the watershed...



Marcus: Whoever is toying with my head, fucking stop you BASTARD!



Marcus: Ok... this just got a little TOO ugly.













Rod: MARC! Dreaming well?
Marcus: Oh.



Marcus: Hi gov.
Rod: Don't 'Hi gov' me! What is this, eh!? Sleeping on the job again?
Marcus: No, I was just...
Rod: Yes, I know. You was sleeping. Did you dream?
Marcus: Well...
Rod: Did you?
Marcus: I, err... yes.
Rod: Good. Anything interesting happen?
Marcus: No. Well, no in a sort of... ah, yeah actually.
Rod: And?
Marcus: My apartment flooded, and it's on the second floor, but, yeah let's just get to work.



Rod: Ok, I'm going to stay out of this. I hope it's not one of your dreams of when you were up in the clouds again, tell me its not?
Marcus: What would it matter to you?
Rod: Exactly, it doesn't. In fact, I never wanted to know anyway. You, my fine friend - are coming with me. Because that BASTARD Hopkins is taking over my office.
Marcus: Well, come on. You're the gov, you kick him out.
Rod: Afraid it ain't like that, sunshine. Hopkins is a fat tached oaf, and I'd rather save myself the hassle.
Marcus: Oh, a bit of self pity I detect there, hey gov?



Rod: SELF PITY!? Who do you think I am? Yes, I'm a miserable bugger, but you know Marc, so are you!
Marcus: Oh, is that so?
Rod: Absolutely. And you've not exactly been a keen talker recently, either.
Marcus: I'm sorry for Hopkins' behaviour, but he needs to familiarize himself with his new surroundings.
Rod: Like chuff he's famil... familiari... (sighs)... I mean like chuff he's getting used to my pissing surroundings! Is this Lyons whose arranged all this!?
Marcus: Lyons brought Vincent over here, but I'm beginning to think he saw sense. He knows too that Lyons is bad news, and I can tell he has more respect for you.
Rod: When he's lounging in my office!? LIKE FUCK! Now come on Marc, we're going to boot that bastard back down to Lystow where he belongs!



Marcus: (Sighs) Let's end this then...





Rod: HOPKINS! YOU'VE GOT TEN SECONDS TO GET OUT OF MY OFFICE OR ELSE I'M GOING TO SINGE YOUR BASTARD TACHE!



Vincent: Ha-fucking-ha, Barker. Come on in, I have something to tell you. And trust me, it won't take ten seconds...



Rod: Well, it'd better be quick because we're down to four seconds!
Marcus: And that makes one second...
Rod: And ah! Times up! Now get out of my bastard chair!



Vincent: Three, two, one, zero! Go on, singe it. Get your fucking lighter and singe my tache! Yes? No? Nah, didn't think so. Listen, I'll buy you a brew later at Gonzalo's. Now isn't the time for setting facial hair alight when we have those Azarian bastards to put to sleep.



Rod: GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!
Marcus: Gov, if you listened to him carefully, I think that if you let him spend a bit longer in your chair, he'll buy you a drink.
Rod: Oh right. Well, sure. Anyone can buy me a drink. Is that all? Let's go.



Rod: What do you want from here, Hopkins?
Vincent: It's about the boy, Oliver.
Rod: Him? Why?
Vincent: I think it's time to take the eh, next step in the operation. We have no Alberto Marini. All we have is our Marvegan spot-magnet Oliver.
Rod: What use is he to us now?
Vincent: My point exactly, Barker. He has no purpose.
Marcus: Wait a minute, what are you suggesting?
Vincent: That we set him free.
Marcus: Hey!?
Rod: Okay.
Marcus: Gov, are you ok!?
Rod: Fine thank you, Marc.



Marcus: Are you going to agree with this guy!?
Rod: Of course I am, Marc. He respects me. And not many guys do, it seems. I'm your gov, you listen to me. If you want to make paper but get your head blown off in the process, consult your dear friend Jasper McBastard Liar-Liar-Pants-On-Fire-Lyons.
Vincent: Listen to us, Marcus. We're not stupid, Marc. Haven't you figured it out?
Marcus: Figured what out, exactly!?
Vincent: We're going to release Oliver, and then you Marc, well... you're in for a spot of voyeurism.
Marcus: Voyeurism? What the fuck?
Rod: You know, Hopkins. Maybe you shouldn't have put it like THAT.
Vincent: Yeah, well you get my jist?
Marcus: No, not really.
Vincent: (Sighs)



Vincent: Oliver.



Oliver: Huh!?
Vincent: Now I don't want NO bastarding around here, my friend.
Oliver: What are you talking about?
Vincent: YOU BASTARDS SCREWED US OVER! AND I'M GOING TO FUCKING COME ROUND TO AZARIA AND SNAP ALL OF THEIR NECKS!
Oliver: I'm not getting this shouting and screaming...
Vincent: The CID was appalled this morning when Alberto Marini threatened the department with a jerry can and a lighter. He wants you out of here, or else.
Oliver: What!? WOW!
Vincent: Yeah, wow. And so, as a result of it... you're on the first plane back to Archades.



Oliver: What the fuck!? YES! Thank you so much!



Vincent: You shouldn't be thanking us, it's Marini you 'ought to thank. He's the one that got you out of this cesspit. Now, come on. Let's get you out of here.



Marcus: Alright, so can you explain to me what is going on in greater detail?
Vincent: Ok, here's what's going to happen - our young pal Oliver is sat in the waiting room. We've phoned in his brother, because apparently him and Oliver get on very well, suggesting he has involvement in the mafia scene. This is good, because it gives us the possibility to keep Oliver in Denland.
Marcus: I don't recall Marini threatening to torch the place though?
Rod: We're trying to give them the impression that we're good-for-nothing, soft arseholes and that we're not to be feared. Maybe that will give them the confidence to continue their work here.
Marcus: They're dangerous, guys. We can't tolerate this in our city anymore.
Vincent: You're right, but we haven't got much to go on here. The mafia is very secretive but very powerful, Redford. They have to be loyal to one another, because after all... they put each other above their wives and children. They're serious about this.
Marcus: Oliver hasn't even finished puberty yet, no mind about being a father!
Rod: He's our only hope! The mafia are slippy bastards. Like Vince said, they're secretive... and the first sign of copper intervention, they'll fuck the hell off.
Marcus: You're shooting yourself in the foot now, you want them to stay, yet you're letting Oliver go!?



Vincent: You're not getting this, are you!? He's going, then we can see what he's getting up to. He's no good in here. He's all we have to go off. If we keep him in that cell, the mafia are taking advantage, and we don't know where the hell the bastards are. It's simple stuff. Now, Oliver is there waiting to go.







Luca: Motherfucker.



Vincent: There's a car waiting outside for you, lent to you by Detective Opal apparently, since Rod here won't be your taxi driver today.
Marcus: How come?
Vincent: You're not going to intervene on them, Marcus. You're just going to follow Oliver and his brother to wherever they're going. We can't come along with you, because A - it takes more time and hassle, and B - us two more than anyone else should lay low after the warehouse scene last week, you know, the Seurope theft.
Marcus: I was there too.
Vincent: We know. But you won't have to get seen, hopefully. Anyway, you stayed quiet. That was good. If Marini saw you, then he'd have probably forgot about you by now. I mean, you're an average guy. Apart from the ginger hair, of course, but I'll let that slide.
Marcus: Fuck you.
Vincent: Ah, I'm just kidding Redford.
Marcus: Alright, so what if I do get into a tricky situation?
Vincent: You call us.
Marcus: With what?
Vincent: This. Here, catch.



Marcus: Oh cool, I've always wanted a mobile brick.



Rod: A what?
Marcus: Eh, doesn't matter.



Marcus: Alright. So, like you said, he's on the next plane to Archades, or at least he thinks he is... what do I do if he goes to the airport?



Vincent: Let us know. He won't get out of the country anyway. Little does he know but those tickets are a forge, so he won't be going nowhere. If he can't move, then he'll definitely come running back to Marini instead of confronting us. The mafia don't want no bother. Now, let me show you to the car.



Luca: Jasper, Jasper! You need to know something.
Jasper: I know a lot of things, Luca. Everything, in fact. More than our friend Barker.
Luca: Not everything.
Jasper: What is it?
Luca: Oliver is sat in the waiting room, looks like Barker has released him, or at least put him on bail...
Jasper: ...



Luca: Jasper?
Jasper: I fucking heard, Tennyson. I fucking heard.
Luca: Well! Let's get on it.
Jasper: Rod...
Luca: Rod what?
Jasper: Ah, fuck. Rod Barker, man... I mean. I'm going to have to fucking kill him.
Luca: Save the killing for later, Jasper. We can't let him go! Are you going to do something?



Jasper: Yes, I am Luca. I'm going to hunt myself some foreign men in fedoras and then I'm going to prop Rodney's head on a skewer. We're going to get the help of a friend of ours and then we're going to fucking go.



Vincent: You listen to me, Marc. If anything happens, phone us. We'll be on call all the time.
Marcus: Roger that.
Vincent: And Marc...
Marcus: Yes?
Vincent: Try not to get yourself spotted, there's a lot at stake here.
Marcus: Roger that.



Vincent: Have a safe journey.



What a cool guy, that Hopkins. Always calm and always outsmarting everyone. But, you're faced with a dilemma again Marcus.



You come into all of this, and there's two guys here that can make not only a laughing stock of you, but a laughing stock of the whole police force. Don't go doing anything I wouldn't do. Stay safe.



Living is surviving. Anything else? Ain't worth the mention.



Jasper: Green Andromeda, Luca. A green Andromeda. Come on, let's get to my car.







Jasper: PEG IT!



Luca: Did you see that? Marcus is in the Armada!
Jasper: That's fine. More meat to butcher.



Jasper: I'm going to fucking kill them all. Barker, Redford... and heaven help us if Hopkins is joining in on this too, because he can die as well. In fact, I may as well put the whole department to sleep and START OVER MY WAY!
Luca: Jasper, calm down. And slow down too, we don't want Marcus to see us. Nor Oliver.
Jasper: The quicker they're dead, the better! Hopefully our man Haines should be down at the modelling agency, after all, it looks like that's the way they're heading.



David: Alright, gorgeous. My name's David, I'm going to be your photographer today. Now first, I'm going to ask you to yeah, I think... maybe you could raise your left hand to your face and perhaps hunker that arm down on your breast for me? And your right arm you can let dangle, but maybe you could let your palms rest on your thigh? Yeah, and then feet apart. Sexy stance, yeah... that's the one.



Francesca: Is this ok for you?
David: Hell yeah, more than ok. Be-autiful!







Marcus: Superior Modelling Agency? Seriously? This was owned by the Azarian mafia back in the '80s? Fuck, I'll take 2011 back anyday.



Jasper: Looks like Redford's been instructed to sniff around. Maybe Barker's idea is to mess with their heads.
Luca: When they hear about this shit storm that's about to occur though, they'll be wishing they were dead.
Jasper: Yeah, you could say that again.



Marcus: Should I go in? Hell, maybe I should.



David: Boy, was your father a cement mixer? Because, seriously gorgeous, you make my little fella' hard.



Oliver: Oooookay... have I came at a bad time? Where's Marini? Jerome, do you know?



Jerome: He will be here anytime soon. We're just taking pictures, they're going to 'occupy' Francesca's soon-to-be owner for a little while. Meanwhile, Alberto still has unfinished business with her.



David: Little boy, you're going to have to keep quiet about this little business venture we've got going on here, or else you're going to be the center of Marini's next project down at the slaughterhouse.



David: Now, don't you step near our girl. You play no part in this, boy.



David: Now BACK THE FUCK OFF!



Jerome: Eh, don't intimidate him too much David. We don't have much time. None of us would like to hear the news of another bloodbath involving our men. Denland is an oppurtunity for us to make big-time money, and we can't help you when you Denevians cannot help us.
Oliver: Just let me go, man.



David: Francesca?
Francesca: Yes?
David: Is it just me or do you feel dead sexy when you're around me?







Jasper: Redford's in position, now let's put his work to waste and spoil this little pool party we've got going on here.



Alberto: And what the FUCK might be going on here!? David, let Francesca go. She will soon no longer be ours. She has a new buyer, and we don't know who. But your pictures are supposed to be keeping him happy. Now stop threatening your brothers and get to work!



Alberto: Francesca, are you ok? You're not hurt are you?



Marcus: Alright guys, I see Marini. Oliver's here too. Then we've got a man, I can't work him out behind his fedora. We also have a middle-aged, middle-build, brown haired unknown wielding a gun alongside a bikini-clad girl. Look's like they're running a sex trade here more than a modelling agency. Hang on... w... wait a minute...



Jasper: Well, well, well! What do we have here?



Jasper: Oh, you don't want to sell her, she's beautiful. Alright, I'll go five hundred over the previous bidder.



Alberto: Oh, who the fuck sent you here!? Francesca here is sold and is ready to move to her new buyer my friend, now please leave my premises before I dispose of you myself.
Jasper: Ah, no can do amigo.



Jasper: It's time to pay up.
David: (Whispers) Francesca...
Francesca: Yes?
David: I'm not enjoying this, are you?
Francesca: No...



David: DETECTIVE HAINES, CID! FREEZE MOTHERFUCKERS, I REPEAT... FREEZE!





Alberto: Rats after fucking rats...











Francesca: Rats, rats, rats everywhere! Filthy SLIMY RATS! (Screams)



Mobster: This ain't no place for feds!



Luca: Ha, is now!
Alberto: What have I done to deserve this luck?



David: Now I've got you right where I want you, MARINI!



David: Oooh, PIECE OF CUNT!



Francesca: Resta forte Francesca, si vince. Rimanere forte.



Marcus: Ah, piacere di conoscerti? You speak Denevian?
Francesca: Of course, I have to... it's part of the trade.
Marcus: I can see things ain't too good.
Francesca: Leave me alone, I've had enough of the sight of men for one day.
Marcus: Look, I can guess what's going on. You belong to Marini, he's using these facilities to lure models into sex slavery, am I correct?



Francesca: Yes... I mean, uh... NO! Why do you want to know? You're not laying a finger on me, NOT EVER!
Marcus: Listen to me, madam. I...my wife, she... she was once a stripper, I saw the way they treated her and I took her in.
Francesca: Agh, you're manipulating me! Fuck the hell off!
Marcus: Please, you want out, no?
Francesca: Of course!
Marcus: Then let me help!
Francesca: You've never seen a girl in her swimwear like this before, huh? You want me?
Marcus: I can help you in exchange for information from you regarding these men. I can solve the police's problem and I can also solve your problem.
Francesca: The police!? THE POLICE! FUCK OFF! I'M ALLERGIC TO RATS!
Marcus: You said you wanted help!



Francesca: I've just learnt that the man I've been sleeping with for the past week is no other than a cop. Where do you think my thoughts towards your kind lie right now? You're all the same...
Marcus: I'm not like that!



Francesca: Sure, you took a stripper in, you succeeded. Well done. Now let this stripper do what she does best. Maybe your wife had a purpose in life. My purpose is none other than being a service to men like you, spineless rat.
Marcus: Keep your voice down!



Francesca: I hope your rat friends are dead.



Jasper: The time's came... name!?
Jerome: Basile.
Jasper: Basile who?
Jerome: Jerome Basile.
Jasper: And Alberto, where art thou?
Jerome: What!?
Jasper: WHERE THE FUCK... IS MARINI!?





Alberto: What the hell is going on here!? Hey, you dear fellow. Assuming that you want to stick that thing of yours inside her, I suggest you pay up. Don't want to? Good. Less time to waste. Now come on Francesca! Muoversi!





Marcus: (Quietly) Francesca... I'm going to help you.
Francesca: (Whispers) Rot in hell.



Jerome: Hey, YOU! STOP THERE!
Marcus: W...what do you want!?
Jerome: Ah, are you ok mate?
Marcus: Me? Mate?
Jerome: Yeah, that's your kind of dialect, yes?
Marcus: Erm, no.
Jerome: Ah, anyway. To cut a long story short I've...
Marcus: ... Lost your mind by the looks of it...?
Jerome: No, I need to ask you where a man went. He looks like me, ha, he's my uncle. Got ah, he's got spectacles though.



Marcus: Azarian mafia by any chance?
Jerome: No, not me. I mean, him ah-yes, but-ah me... no-no-no. I'm a good boy, but don't tell no one he's my uncle. If he goes down, I will be killed.
Marcus: Killed by who?
Jerome: I don't know. Anyone. Man, I can't survive without him. He hates my guts yet, he doesn't want me dead. I can guarantee he probably wants me alive so he can use me but, well, you know how it is.
Marcus: No, sorry pal. I don't.
Jerome: Eh, a-never mind.



Jerome: Look, I-a cannot give you much details or I will die but, can you give me a ride?
Marcus: Tell me why.
Jerome: Never mind why, I don't want to die. My uncle is on the brink of running late for a business deal, I cannot lose him. He's heading to his house. Please help.
Marcus: Right, well... I'll do all I can. Follow me.
Jerome: I owe so much to you, my-a mate! Oh eh, yeah... let's go.



Alberto: Drive! NOW! And fast, to my manor! And Francesca, please do not get dressed. You are fine just the way you are. In fact, I can get a better deal on you that way.
Francesca: (Crying sniffle)
Alberto: Ah, don't fucking talk then bitch. NOW DRIVE FASTER!