Desert Diary 2: No Broken Promise Or Ambition Goes Unpunished

No Broken Promise Or Ambition Goes Unpunished (Now With Extra Nicky)



(Lots of mumbling voices)
Chrissie: Come on now, just up here.
Eliza: (Giggles)



Mark: Hahahaha oh yeah of course, so what if they caught on before you got out the door?
Stephen: Well you know me-I always go out the window, not the door, so that’s alright.
(Mark and Terri laugh)



Chrissie: Hello there folks.
Mark: Hey Muffin… Wait, what? Lizzie?
Eliza: Hi.
Mark: Who’s behind you?
Chrissie: Firstly, why don’t you tell us all why we’re doing a Desert Diary right now?
Mark: Erm…
Chrissie: The finale?
Mark: Oh sh*t! Right… Yeah, erm… Heh, where do I begin?
Chrissie: The usual excuses is usually a good place to start.
Mark: Oh yes, of course. Erm… Can I just be honest ‘n’ say that I written the episode so long I actually didn’t even think it was possible to make it as long as it is?
Stephen: Was that a euphemism?
(Mark, Stephen and Terri laugh)
Chrissie: We can take that laugh away you know.
Mark: How’s that?
Chrissie: Well, you’re releasing the finale tomorrow instead now, right?
Mark: Yeah?
Chrissie: Your promise? And the consequence you yourself said you’d put up with?
Mark: … Oh please no you can’t be serious.



Nicky: Hello!
Stephen: Oh crap.
Terri: Oooh no.
Chrissie: Meet your new best friend until the season special’s aired, enjoy!
Eliza: Oh, and we’ll just leave this camera with you if you don’t mind. Bye-bye!



Chrissie: See you later sweetie, I LOVE YOU!
Stephen: Get a room.
Chrissie: We have one.
Stephen: Use it.
Chrissie: Mmm later, definitely.
Mark: Gives me something worth living for now I guess. Give me Nicky then promise me a nice night… Caught in a two-way dilemma here.



(Chrissie and Eliza laughing)
Nicky: So guys, what are we talking about over here!?
Mark: I want to die right now.
Terri: Please don’t, pretty pretty please.
Mark: You’re asking a massive favour from me here Terri.
Stephen: We need this kid quiet as much as possible, right?
Mark: Right.
Stephen: People are pretty quiet when they’re unconscious, right?
Mark: Right.
Stephen: Nicky here gets unconscious very easily by a certain hobby of his, right?
Mark: Right.
Stephen: … Seriously? You don’t see where I’m goin’ with this?
Mark: C’mon Nicky, we’re off to the karaoke bar!
Nicky: Yaaaaaaaay!



Mark: Problem sorted! Nice goin’, Stevie. Terri, take the camera will you please, love?
Terri: Sure.



Mark: So hey folks. Yep, the finale will be tomorrow. The reason being when we edited the film down we… Didn’t realise that there was so much footage. To be honest, I didn’t think we would make an episode longer than last week but… Well, we’ve succeeded in that. That’s all I’m gonna’ say ‘cause I’m still kinda’ “what the f*ck” about it all. So yeah, sorry… AGAIN. If it wasn’t going to be as much footage as it is, I would have had it done by now, possibly, but we don’t. So, thanks to all for watching this… If anyone does watch these things. The show’s underground enough, I doubt anyone watches these podcasts except us when we put it on playback but what the hell, we do ‘em anyway. See you guys!



Mark: … We are so sh*t at the TV business aren’t we?